Mustafa Abdoh
515 Paul Hardin Drive
Chapel Hill, NC 27415
mabdoh@live.unc.edu
February 4, 2016

Dear Ms.Boyd

I Mustafa Abdoh, an aspiring blog-post writer for health topics, implore you to graciously honor me in this letter by gracing these humble lines of text with your knowing and learned eyes. I pray that in this query, your visage not reflect the jaded expression brought about by the skimming of a mundane proposal, but rather your face illuminates in recognizing the contested topic of the effects of fluoride on human health as an invaluable addition to your journal Science. I invite you to enter the murky realm of fluoride, so that you may yourself, gain clarity on such a vital topic.
               Fear Flee Fluoride
Mass hysteria floods the public psyche, panic in the media, incessant buzzing of rumor emanating from the lips of those around you. You lack the comfort you once knew from the moment you were first vicariously touched by the monster’s invisible hand. No longer can you rest at ease in the once gratifying presence of a crystalline glass of water now that your eyes are opened to the heinous and insatiable appetite of this venomous fiend. There is no place on this earth in which this villain, Fluoride, could possibly reside and simultaneously hold up a respectable reputation as an upstanding compound. Hence forth and forevermore we should ban him from our pipelines and dental products and return to a time before the introduction of “big government’s” proxy in human extermination (for the obvious reason that governments are just too lazy to do the killing themselves!). By and by if we’re going to die, why not get to know the reaper before he reaps?

Fluoride, as it likes to be called, can really be thought of as a coalition group of chemical compounds containing the element fluorine (chemical symbol F). Fluorine can be considered the biological parent of all fluoride compounds, but interestingly enough you can’t find it isolated in nature because it is so electronegative. This property of fluorine means that if it is alone in the wild, it’ll ravenously grab the nearest element’s electrons and never give them back, much like a spoiled toddler. Unlike fluorine, which as we’ve said you’ll never find unless you are at the scene of a sun gone supernova, fluorides are literally everywhere, in small doses that is. Fluorides occur naturally in water and soil, as well as trace quantities in the air from various pollutants. I am confident you can grapple with the idea that fluorides are everywhere, but surely you are content knowing that the chemical is far from entering your loved ones’ bodies (and yourself, because you love yourself no?). Of course you are! And I proceed with even greater certainty that the structural integrity of your very being would be better off if it never heard the name fluoride again. Yes indeed, fluorides are in no way essential to the fortification of bone and teeth, nor does your body contain any mechanism built for responding to excess of the compound.

In the full version “Fear Flee Fluoride”, we will be exploring the nature of fluoride and both the pros and cons of its existence in our waters and in our toothpastes. Fluorides will be touted as the defenders against dental caries and bastions from osteoporosis. The means by which fluoride is attained each day will certainly be examined, and as alluded to previously, it is largely from water. Information from a case study in India will be explored as we venture into the various circumstances surrounding fluoride deficient and excessive areas and the health effects on resident populations. The article will then take a riveting turn to explore more negative effects of fluorides on the body. How did excess of fluoride effect lab rats’ DNA for example, and what happens if you brush your teeth too much? Once more the blog will shift to explore the attitudes of the Australian public in the fluoride debate and common concerns will be falsified and verified. This will include statistics on the health care costs concerning water fluoridation and its absence. For those who still fear and wish to escape by way of alternate toothpastes, we will find that according to a simple study, fluoride is in fact a killer… of bacteria. Finally, tips will be provided on how to spot the harmful effects of fluoride overdose and how to stay an informed consumer of fluoridated products like water.

I hope that this article intrigues as well as entertains, and look forward to your response.
Thank you,
Mustafa Abdoh